Debunking myths about feminists in India

You hear all these random conversations between people - using the word "feminist". You're quite surprised about how they interpret that one word. Here's a blow-by-blow Indian perspective on what the word means.

A: "Yeh feminist log hai na..."

B: "hahahahaha"

A: "Okay now, don't start with all your feminist shit here okay?"

A: "She's a feminist dude"

B: "Oh fuck..... haha. She must be really (sexually) frustrated."

A: "What do you think of feminists?"

B: "Well, as long as it doesn't go beyond a point and as long as it is reasonable"

A: "What?" 

B: "You know.. Countries like US, Australia don't need feminists. India is in bad shape, we need feminists here."

A: "She's too much of a feminist dude"

Mom: "Keep your feminism to yourself, now is not the time to argue"

The most brilliant one I heard - was when I shaved my head. It had nothing to do with anyone else or any political stance:

A: "Oohh.. what is this, some Lesbian-Feminist movement?"

What is Feminism?

It's a movement that advocates equality for men and women in all respects. We're not just talking about voting and property rights but in allllll wayyyysss - employment & wages, social circumstances, unbiased treatment, education, same rights and environment conducive to growth and success.  Here are some popular myths about feminists:

(1) Feminists hate men

Contrary to what people think, we actually do like men. We just don't like the stuck up, retarded, unreasonable and psychotic men (that rules out almost all of them no? lol. Hey, we just like cracking jokes about men. I kid, I kid). We're actually against patriarchy - which means we're also against women that perpetuate male-female inequality. 

Yes. It's true. We don't hate men. You want proof? I can show you the long list of crushes that I've had. We can do a data analysis and I can even give you a pie chart. Promise.

Secondly, if you believe in male-female equality - you're a feminist too. Even if you're a guy. Really. This just blew your mind, I'm sure. Take a drink.

(2) Feminists are angry, scary folks

Of course not! 

Have you seen the kind of shit I write? I wrote in detail about female flatulence in one and about toilets in another. I like hip hop. I watch Rajnikanth movies. I am a loon with a chocolate problem. I'm also a feminist. 

So yes, we get angry just like everyone else - but it's only when people piss us off or if we feel that we haven't been given our due. Totally normal, don't you think?

(3) Feminist = bad word

See, you just offended me right there by calling it one. It's not a bad word. We're nice people. We like cupcakes, long baths, music and what-not. We like babies, puppies and kittens. We can co-exist with you. You just need to treat us like normal human beings.

(4) Feminists burn bras

Dude, I know there was a historical event when people discarded products meant for women. For god's sake, why don't you read about why they did that? In fact, here's a revelation: They did not burn bras. This also blew your mind, didn't it? Take another drink.

Having said that - Bras are the devil. They cause cuts, lines and trauma. They are weapons of mass restriction. 

Anyway, we might be divided on the social and individual benefits of using the bra. It is safe to assume that we're not arsonists. We will not suddenly whip our bras out in the middle of the street or at the workplace, set it on fire and do a war dance around it. 

That is not our grand plan, no.

(5) Lesbians, feminists and spinsters are all the same, they're all sexually frustrated

Lesbian: Someone who is attracted to women. 

Feminists: Explained earlier.

Spinster: Single and loving it.

None of these mean that they are not getting any. They're probably getting some unless - they're a NUN. Even if they weren't getting any, it's really none of your business. 

None of these words are synonyms of each other while one person might be one or more of those words. 

(6) Feminists are unreasonable

Just like any other normal human being - we can be reasonable or unreasonable. We want equality, as explained earlier. You get a cupcake, we get a cupcake. It's only fair. 

I'd like a red velvet, please.