Date a girl who farts

Yes, you read that right.

I've gotten tired of reading all those posts about "date a girl who writes", "date a girl who loves biryani" and "date a girl who drinks". They're so lame and commonplace. 

Also, the fact that a straight woman writes in self-praise is odd. The matter might be a little different if she was a lesbian though (she might actually be talking about someone else). Anyway. 

Date a girl who farts. 

A girl who farts in public with no semblance of shame or guilt that is usually instilled by social conditioning. She breaks all ridiculous notions of femininity by doing so. She's a brave woman, obviously, considering how much men (the so-called-stronger-sex) hesitate to do so in public. 

She values her well-being over keeping up an image that society has thrust  upon her. Which-is-why-she-farts. She knows holding them in is unhealthy. She does the math, a cost v. benefit analysis - and realises that no societal benefit is worth ruining her health. Oh yes, she's smart. 

She unabashedly trumpets, blasts all kinds of music. The world could definitely do with more music, she'd say. Some of her friends call her the master blaster. However, know that this does not mean that she can't embrace silence. Her silent killers are so deadly, you wouldn't even know what hit you. A criminal master-behind, if you know what I mean.

She will even tilt herself sideways when seated to ease the release. Nothing like a clear run-way space for graceful take off. 

She cares not for the odour, as it's ultimately natural and is nothing when compared to the cigarette smoke and pollution that we're subjected to. She dwells in the rich scent and is also the very same person who can also appreciate fine luxury perfumes.

The icing on the cake, she will also let you burp and fart in peace. 

Here's a woman who is so smart, brave, talented and accepting. Why on earth wouldn't you date her?

P.S: For all those men who thought women didn't fart - ALL WOMEN DO.

P.P.S: This post is dedicated to women who fart in public and are unafraid to do so :P.

(Image from: http://barontremaynecaple.deviantart.com/art/Bolt-Dog-Mittens-Cat-Bolt-Did-You-Just-Fart-328198416 )