I wrote this and forgot about it. On March 21, as a part of the Speaker Series, we had this supremely fine gentleman giving us a talk about finding love (seriously?). I was so bored with work that I decided to go and attend to see what he had to say. I find how individuals deal with relationships in India very fascinating. There's a wide spectrum of the various ways in which they work (considering the wide spectrum of extremely conservative to extremely liberal to crazy individuals + Indian societal value systems) and was super curious, I thought he might have something interesting to say. This was what I had to say after I attended it.
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21 March 2014
Attended one of the worst presentations, ever. The presentation was lousy - not because of the style of delivery but because of the content. The speaker did seem to have an o-k sense of humor and managed to evoke a few laughs. That was probably the only saving grace.
Akash Gautam’s session "Lovepal bill - a guide to love and relationships" was such a badly researched, stereotypical, sexist lecture on how to handle relationships and breakups.
Shockingly enough, he kept quoting Bollywood and kept using Hindi throughout his talk. This is to an audience of working individuals, from different parts of the country who’ve grown OUT of thinking that Bollywood movies depict real relationships (and in my case, have not watched that many to think along those lines) and surely DON’T dream that they’ll find someone like Shah Rukh Khan or Kajol.
He asks us to use "logic” in the place of “magic” in a relationship. I’m like, you douche, just because you’re a twit doesn’t mean the rest of us are too.
The doofus, at some point in the talk - speaks about what men expect in a relationship. Apparently, they want “less drama”. Again, such a stereotypical view of women and how they’re all melodramatic. For god’s sake, I’ve seen enough men who claim that they'll cut their wrists or commit suicide if a girl does not say yes. I’ve seen guys who’re still not over their exes after a zillion years. I’ve also seen guys who get very sappy and start crying for you. The first set of men are idiots - that’s pretty much blackmail. The last two are what they are. They’re normal men and they're entitled to be who they'd like to be, if that's how they express themselves. It's great that they don't feel compelled to live up to society's idea of "manhood". Saying that only women can be “emotional” is ridiculous.
There was the other stereotype where he said, “ladies, watch out, a lot of men out there just want only a physical relations”. Women also want sex, you know. There are also a lot of men who are serious about finding love.
At one point, the gentleman asked everyone to clap for women because they "bear and raise our children”. Haha, thanks for re-iterating and restricting our roles in society. Yep, that’s what we’re there for, that’s what we do best.
He asks us to be realistic, asks us to not go looking for a relationship and that it will happen when it is meant to. You fool, most working professionals want to find love but can’t because they aren’t usually allowed to date at the workplace (even if they’re allowed to, they don’t because of the complications). If you really want to increase your chances of finding someone, you go meet more people, you socialize, you go on dates or whatever it is that works. You increase your odds. Saying rubbish like “don’t go after things” is stupid.
It is amazing how individuals with no experience or skill end up giving such talks. You need a whole new level of guts to go out there and be confident about your shitty presentation and zero research. Kudos to you Akash Gautam. *slow clap*
You can see this fine gentleman here: http://www.akashgautam.com/products/event/lovepal-bill/
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