To all those creeps out there, hello, how are you? How's the creeping going yo?
These are the Average Joes of the world. You might've seen them in class. You might've met them at a social gathering. You then stupidly accept their friend requests or even proactively add them thinking 'oh-hey-i-know-this-guy' or 'maybe-i-should-network' (whatever, see my friend list, you'll know how stupid I am). They'd seem very benign at the beginning. You know those initial -new-facebook-friend-say-hi- chats? It seems normal, he seems ok. We're not even spending any mental energy on it.
Slowly but steadily, the creep surfaces.
Here are some signs and stages in the life of a typical facebook creep:
(1) Message-you-forever Stage: You notice that he starts pinging every other freaking day. He gets the notification 'seen' and I haven't replied, but he is unstoppable. The man will continue to write in every week. If there's one thing you must learn from these creeps - it's perseverence. You don't respond AT ALL over 2 months but he is still sending messages. You remove him from your chat list (using a genius thing called lists) but that doesn't stop him either. He still sends messages 'Heyyy, hw r uuu, y not replying yaaa?' 'Remembrr meee???' 'ssup' 'madam busy huh'.
(2) Googlesearch Newsfeed Stage: He realises, hmm, the hi, how are yous aren't working. He needs something to talk about. He needs something that she can't refuse to respond to. He GOOGLES YOU. Next conversations go like this:
'Oh were you an editor of blah blah journal?'
'Ohhh you won that debate competition in 12th standard?? So impressive'
'I saw all your dance videos on fb, you dance very well'
'I read your note on blah blah, I completely agree with your point on it'
'I saw your inteview on !@#! balah blah, so cool ya'
(SENT BACK TO BACK)
A truly golden one that actually guaranteed a response was because there was commercial intent --
C: 'When is that dance show!!?'
Me: 'Oh its on the 9th of x month, it's on the page I've shared, take a look at it, I can sell you the tickets'
C: LOLzzz too lazy haha
Me: (in-my-mind-why the-f-did-you-ask-then-retard) Ok.
Basically, he goes all creepominator.
(3) Creepominator Reloaded: He subsequently reaches higher levels of creepomination when he is tracking your comments on pages that you like, random profiles etc. GOD KNOWS how creepominators end up tracking your comments on someone else's status who is not on their list or on a photography page that they haven't liked but hey - they can do it. They will then send a message about it 'hey, if you're looking for a photographer, I am one.' 'who is getting married, why do you need a wedding photographer'.
Stupid people who believe in second chances, being kind to peolpe wait till (3) to remove them from their list. Smart people who learn from other people's experiences will remove at (1).
Be smart.
Save yourselves from the creepominators.
Also, DON'T BE A CREEPOMINATOR. If someone doesn't freaking respond to you, MOVE ON. Jeez. There are a gazillion people on this planet. God.
And if you really had to do a Google search on someone and found stuff after that DONT EFFING TELL THEM YOU WERE GOOGLING THEM, DAMN IT.
If you're interested in someone just bloody well ask them out on a date so you'll know right then if they're interested or not, end of story. You don't have to creep on them for several months altogether, saves you time and saves your reputation. They wouldn't then put up notes about you and tag other people in it.
P.S: Creepominator derived from Creep-on-me-nator. Shortened for ease of usage.
P.P.S: Secondly, if I've ever done this to someone (doubt it), like messaging a lot - SORRY. I really didn't mean to creep. I am normally super freakishly shy if it's someone I like and I avoid voluntarily talking to them. If I kept pinging you, it's either fraanship or I want something from you. Just sayin'. Chill out ye.
These are the Average Joes of the world. You might've seen them in class. You might've met them at a social gathering. You then stupidly accept their friend requests or even proactively add them thinking 'oh-hey-i-know-this-guy' or 'maybe-i-should-network' (whatever, see my friend list, you'll know how stupid I am). They'd seem very benign at the beginning. You know those initial -new-facebook-friend-say-hi- chats? It seems normal, he seems ok. We're not even spending any mental energy on it.
Slowly but steadily, the creep surfaces.
Here are some signs and stages in the life of a typical facebook creep:
(1) Message-you-forever Stage: You notice that he starts pinging every other freaking day. He gets the notification 'seen' and I haven't replied, but he is unstoppable. The man will continue to write in every week. If there's one thing you must learn from these creeps - it's perseverence. You don't respond AT ALL over 2 months but he is still sending messages. You remove him from your chat list (using a genius thing called lists) but that doesn't stop him either. He still sends messages 'Heyyy, hw r uuu, y not replying yaaa?' 'Remembrr meee???' 'ssup' 'madam busy huh'.
(2) Googlesearch Newsfeed Stage: He realises, hmm, the hi, how are yous aren't working. He needs something to talk about. He needs something that she can't refuse to respond to. He GOOGLES YOU. Next conversations go like this:
'Oh were you an editor of blah blah journal?'
'Ohhh you won that debate competition in 12th standard?? So impressive'
'I saw all your dance videos on fb, you dance very well'
'I read your note on blah blah, I completely agree with your point on it'
'I saw your inteview on !@#! balah blah, so cool ya'
(SENT BACK TO BACK)
A truly golden one that actually guaranteed a response was because there was commercial intent --
C: 'When is that dance show!!?'
Me: 'Oh its on the 9th of x month, it's on the page I've shared, take a look at it, I can sell you the tickets'
C: LOLzzz too lazy haha
Me: (in-my-mind-why the-f-did-you-ask-then-retard) Ok.
Basically, he goes all creepominator.
(3) Creepominator Reloaded: He subsequently reaches higher levels of creepomination when he is tracking your comments on pages that you like, random profiles etc. GOD KNOWS how creepominators end up tracking your comments on someone else's status who is not on their list or on a photography page that they haven't liked but hey - they can do it. They will then send a message about it 'hey, if you're looking for a photographer, I am one.' 'who is getting married, why do you need a wedding photographer'.
Stupid people who believe in second chances, being kind to peolpe wait till (3) to remove them from their list. Smart people who learn from other people's experiences will remove at (1).
Be smart.
Save yourselves from the creepominators.
Also, DON'T BE A CREEPOMINATOR. If someone doesn't freaking respond to you, MOVE ON. Jeez. There are a gazillion people on this planet. God.
And if you really had to do a Google search on someone and found stuff after that DONT EFFING TELL THEM YOU WERE GOOGLING THEM, DAMN IT.
If you're interested in someone just bloody well ask them out on a date so you'll know right then if they're interested or not, end of story. You don't have to creep on them for several months altogether, saves you time and saves your reputation. They wouldn't then put up notes about you and tag other people in it.
P.S: Creepominator derived from Creep-on-me-nator. Shortened for ease of usage.
P.P.S: Secondly, if I've ever done this to someone (doubt it), like messaging a lot - SORRY. I really didn't mean to creep. I am normally super freakishly shy if it's someone I like and I avoid voluntarily talking to them. If I kept pinging you, it's either fraanship or I want something from you. Just sayin'. Chill out ye.
