Subtle rape

Jokes about smelly vaginas; vaginal lightening creams; gang-stripping a person for no reason; violence against women for daring to ‘drink’ or being ‘modern’. What else do you want to throw at us?

The misogyny faced by an Indian woman is really hard to miss. It needn’t be physical violence or rape. Sometimes, it is subtle. The repeated portrayals in Tamil movies of women being ‘evil’ just for
‘making’ men fall in love with them. They are evil and annoying for not saying ‘yes’ to dating him or for changing their mind or for being angry or for even having ideas about an ideal man. The woman’s narrative in such scenarios is often left untold. Why? That’s because it doesn’t matter. That’s because we’re hormonal, crazy and will break into tears any moment. Also, what difference does it make? -- if you keep pursuing her, stalking her, being moronic to her by trying to put your arm around her repetitively though she doesn’t like it, she’ll eventually fall in love with you right? That's all there is to her side of the story. [Source: All Tamil Movies, specifically - OKOK, Vinnaithandi Varuvaya, Why this Kolaveri di and many more. Yes, men make all these movies.]

 What sparked this post? I heard this ridiculous song - Club-le Mabbu-le. This is a Tamil song that starts with a woman stating that she smokes, drinks and is in a live in relationship. The song proceeds to make fun of women like her. The genre is hip-hop/rap, set in a club and he bemoans the loss of cultural values in Tamil women. The song is quite derogatory and uses condescending/negative language with regard to women who choose to visit clubs, drink and wear clothes that are not ‘traditional’. The singer talks about how women should be wearing Kancheevaram sarees instead of wearing a hand-kerchief; about how women are awful to be dumping a guy after dating him for 10 months; about how their Tamil (the language) is terribly fake; how they shouldn’t be in live-in relationships or smoke and finally about how one must not forget ‘Tamil culture’. Ironically, he is wearing a pair of jeans, a tshirt and is in a club, rapping in English.

 A friend introduced me to this track. He still says, it’s a fun song, you don’t have to agree with the lyrics to like a song. My problem is not that I don’t ‘agree’ with the lyrics, my problem is that I find it downright offensive. How can it be fun after that? It is spreading hate and is antithetical to progress, women’s rights, equality and all that we’re supposed to believe in, as a society. The mere fact that such a song is popular really affects me deeply. There’s a simple phrase for this. Hate speech against a certain community. If the same song was made to make fun of a certain caste or religion or insult their practices, everybody would be up in arms. This song demeans women, that too women with loose morals. Who cares, right?

 A woman was made to give a public apology for making a response to that song. Apparently, it was ‘offensive’. There is tolerance for a song that demeans women but when a woman chooses to speak up against it, people find it offensive. There’s a disparity in the freedom of speech or at least, in the level of acceptance that the society has for the exercise of that right by a woman. Khushboo’s story is known to all. [I mean COME ON.]

 If you really feel that women should wear Kancheevarams and nothing else, why do you watch movies with Shriya or Trisha where they’re wearing itty bitty skirts? Why do you accept scenes where Trisha gets drunk? (what’s that scene again?) If drinking is immoral, then why is drinking acceptable when it is done by men? Why do you listen to tracks portrayed as being sung in an inebriated state? Censor it, dude, of course, it’s offensive to Tamil culture! [Shriya and Trisha are Tamil movie stars.]


 The double standards are also apparent in Sivaji, another Tamil movie (I know it’s a Rajinkanth movie, I am expecting cudgels soon). He speaks about finding a ‘Thamizh-thotta-pen’(Tamil-touched/infused-girl) and that he wouldn’t consider marrying a modern woman. Essentially, he is referring to a demure, innocent, gullible girl who dresses conservatively and speaks good Tamil. Interestingly, after he woos her, they break into song routines where, yes, you guessed it – short skirts, cleavage and what-not. There’s even a song where she sings in Tamil mixed with English. [* Main Movie Shriya * Song Sequence Shriya ]

 I’m also tired of these phrases -‘Tamil Culture’ and ‘Indian Culture’. Before prefixing adjectives to ‘culture’ and artificially imposing restrictions and vilifying a class of people who flout it – please understand what it means to be a civilized individual. If you’re basing your understanding of an ideal woman or how her conduct must be by reading the Silappadhikaram (well known literary work),  I’m sorry mate, it is FICTION and was written by a MAN in a DIFFERENT ERA. I also don’t understand how genocide by an angry woman to seek vengeance against one man is acceptable but a woman peacefully consuming alcohol isn’t.

 P.S: Sorry about the multiple links. Non-tamil readers may not get most of what is being said unless I explain, right?

Come as you are

There are times when you think that you shouldn't have done something. This day was one of them.

Some men, well, aren't that amazing.

Disrespect, not my favourite feeling.

Where were you when I needed you the most?

Fail Note on Nilgiris Women

As I haven't really been in any other hostel, I will refrain from defaming the other women.

So yes, coming back to where I was -

Dear Nilgiris Woman (NW),

You're an idiot. Okay, you're awesome, pretty and all that - but you're an idiot. You have been doing a lot of ..ahem.. bad deeds.. in this hostel. I will list a few events or evidence of a few events to elucidate my point.

1. Blue/Purple Ink/pigments on Toilet Seat

Well. Isn't that startling? How did ink turn up on the toilet seat? I was as befuddled as the person reading this. I subsequently decided to not go into the specifics. NW, this is a free world. You can do what you want. If you have a fetish for ink bottles, it's okay, really. No judgment there. However, you see, the rest of the world has to use the same space for poo-poo. We don't have the same ink-philia. So next time, take soap. Or use invisible ink (the kind that will never be seen)

2. Notice on the bathroom door

Ah, this one. Last time I heard, despite Prof. Japhet's requests to have it in Kannada, CLAT still happens in English. So when someone has put up a notice on the door saying "Flush does not work, Do not use" or "Flush leaking, Do not use" - what does it mean? No, it does NOT mean that you can have a holiday with it and leave it with your remnants. You use the next one. See what I just suggested? It's that simple.

3. Toilet seats on the floor/ Flush tank lids on the floor/Loose toilet seats

Seriously, what is up with you NW? I wonder what is so fascinating about the toilet seat and the flush tank. I really like people with a scientific temper who want to experiment and all that. So, let me make it easy, someone already did the research. There you go - http://home.howstuffworks.com/toilet1.htm. Read, rejoice, go home, experiment and you can even have your own Eureka moment!

Alternatively, if it is again one of those things where you like doing it with the toilet seat- well - We prefer going for poo-poo in a normal, functional lavatory without its parts strewn all over the place. Again, no judgment, its a free country. You do what you want to do. You go girl! Just, someplace else. Okay?

I have heard other incidents pertaining to something being stuffed into a flush tank. I will refrain from commenting on that in a public forum. NW, btw, that is downright evil.

4. Throwing liquids into the bin that has HOLES in it

It is physics, yaa. The architect had issues with straight lines as well. Again, physics yaa.

5. Flower Power

I know you have the force with you. You've got Girl power. But - don't break the only thing that protects us from the canine forces from attacking the you-know-what. So Babu or GWC finally decided that we had to switch over to modern technology and introduced a door knob. Now, even that is broken. We like the fact that you are healthy and strong. Use it on the Nagarbhavi Ninjas who almost kidnapped someone. Or maybe on people who vandalize our college property. Please? Not the door knob?

Sigh. You know what NW? Even though you keep indulging in such evil games, I will still miss you.

Also, switch off the Geyser once you are done. We end up getting hot water from the cold water tap as well. It is summer, you know? Or if that's your plan to take over the world by using hot water....then may the force be with you.

Love,
Tired fifth year
XOXO

The days of hypocrisy

Why do people behave like moronic grammar nazis when it comes to posting in one language (such as English)while if the language used changes (to Tamil), there is minimal or no adherence to spellings or grammar?

I also don't understand why people can't take an objective stand on the subject matter of an argument as opposed to siding with their sibling?

Really?

Why can't people also take criticism in a more civilized manner as opposed to saying "What the fuck are you blabbering, this is fucking gibberish"?

Observations on man-kind.

RandomPost

I've been frantically looking around for internships/vacation-placements for the June break. People tell me "Why do you care, you already have a job!"

Er. Is a job the only reason people want to intern? What ever happened to the sheer joy of learning and maybe, the sheer joy of earning a quick buck because the person who you got a job with doesn't plan on giving you a sign on bonus?

I also don't understand people who keep asking you questions. Just to laugh at you.

I also don't understand creatures who think it's "funny" or a "joke" to come and tell you that someone is interested in you. Apart from being really ....lame... its offensive because it's like saying no body is ever going to be interested in you and the fact that someone might be...is a big joke. Even if you don't really like the guy, it is still offensive.

But I do like people who are nice to you despite the fact that you are being critical about them. We're telling them because we like them and we want them to look good and be good. I like him. I'm perilously attracted to this chap. It's almost dangerous. The only thing that is keeping things safe is the distance.

Sigh.

He's perfect.

And handsome.

And crazy.

When Ants Attack!

What would happen if ants were to attack a can of red bull?

I mean, we’ve seen them take a go at anything that’s remotely sweet. But, red bull?
Think about the amount of random high-energy-producing-bull-related-things it has (Taurine) which makes you stay up! Would the ants get high? Or become super-ants!!! Invincible little things? Scary thought. Imagine ants taking over planet earth!!

Enough drama.

Half of them were dead out of consumption of the damned drink.

I NEVER clean up my room. This gives ample opportunity for me to try out such disgusting experiments. Also, this makes my room extra smelly. AND REPULSIVE.

Let me describe my room for you.
It’s the cubicle on to the right of the “room”. My co-residents are bda and mga. Both innocent little things stuck with this evil criminal master mind, who wishes to take over the world with an ant army fed with red bull (muhahahaha). Coming back to where I was… my room. The first thing that strikes you would be the curtains. Navy blue curtains with ugly stripes of white. They are not so impressive. You can also see a lot of clips on them to ensure complete privacy. C’mon, who wants to be seen while they are making plans to send an ant army to Bush’s bed room?
Ok, so as you enter the room you can see more blue. A Blue bed spread, a blue window curtain, blue pillow covers, 2 blue carpets, blue quilt, blue towel etc. You’d think I’m obsessed with blue. Actually I’m not.

So the cubicle is usually cluttered with a zillion bags which comprise of clothes, old and new, dirty and clean. They also have an assortment of other things – such as chips, apples, books, spiral bound ones with my mother’s scrawl, hair dryers, under-wears which have little or no elasticity, strange looking shampoo bottles, towels, socks and many other such things. There are a million other things under my bed – suit cases, buckets, bags with trash, dust bins with trash. And no, I don’t believe in cleaning up the mess. Its all mine! I made it! You expect me to destroy my divine creation! How dare you!

I even have pet lizards which sneak into the sneaky hole near the window. You can see that brown tail disappear especially when you have heard something suspicious.

These guys love my room man. The only thing absent would probably be the rats and maybe bandicoots. I really don’t think my room mates would really cherish the presence of these merry animals. Oh well, I should probably be happy with the red-bull-high ants and the lizards. Finally, like a fine lady once said, “You must connect with naaturrr”
(Heaves a content sigh)

Bald Diaries

The reason I'm blogging about this is because I want to remember why I got my head shaved and how people reacted to it.

Yep. I'm a girl if you hadn't noticed it yet. I decided to get a tonsure last Sunday. I had been contemplating the same for YEARS. I finally had the guts and courage to go ahead and do it.

I had attempted to do it a couple of weeks ago. The beauty parlour lady almost swooned. She started hyperventilating and told me how I had a cute face and that "Baal" (hair) was the only beauty for a woman.
"Baal is the only beauty for a girl yaar.... How can you do this??? I can't do this yaa... I have feelings okay..."
Weird.
I was too lazy to go and check out another place - I cut it short.

The last week when I was looking for a place to buy a new laptop charger - I found this unisex salon. I went there and asked if they would do a tonsure. I would've done it right then if it weren't for my rank son - Navaneeth. The jackass acted like he was going to have an epileptic attack. He started saying things like "I will never talk to you if you did this!!" (If there was something called a Drama king, he'd be the one) Though I like the little chap, I found this ridiculous. Why does it bother people when I want to take off MY hair? Is it that they would rather hang out with only "good-looking" people with hair? Talk about being superficial!

I had similar responses from a lot of people - almost EVERYONE tried dissuading me from doing it. Bleargh.
So the last Sunday, I decide. I go straight to the salon (Glam and Glitz, Chandra Layout for other souls who want to do it) and ask them to chop it off. I was a little apprehensive in the beginning. Not enough to run away though. Everyone at the Salon was looking at me as if I was a creature from the other world with eyes in its nostrils wearing undies over its pants.
Ah.
Post-tonsure effects are the best!

I felt liberated.
Honestly.
You can feel the breeze.
No shampoo/conditioner/oil/hairspray/hairdryer/clips/scrunchie investment required.
Just one problem - I was freezing cold. I kept getting a head ache when my head was exposed to air for prolonged durations.

The reactions I got were very interesting.
Neha actually said that it suited me.
Meera FROZE with her mouth gaping open.
Preeta went into shock. Lol. She kept wincing everytime took off the scarf.
Raeesa said "You actually did it?" "Cool"
I got the "Cool" comment from a bunch of other women as well.
Some of them thought I needed therapy.
"Are you okay? You can talk to me if you want......"
"What the fuck is WRONG with you woman??"
"That takes a lotta guts man......."
"You're looking HOT MAN!!"

If theres something I have done that has evoked the most diverse comments - shaving my head would be it!!!

Most of the guys didn't take this too well. My rank son decided to stop talking to me. He glared at me everytime he saw me.Some others couldn't look at me. Some winced at the sight of a bald head on a woman.
Sheesh. Like I care anyway.

I kept taking off my cap (given to me by Raeesa. One of the best things she has ever done. I'm so grateful, because, if i didn't have it, I'd be freezing to death)whenever I see someone. The responses never fail to entertain me.

Now I have people who have NEVER spoken to me, talking to me about why I did it.

I'm loving it though. I really never thought I would be confident enough to carry this off. I can't believe that I had the guts to do this and that I'm feeling good about it after it as well!

I thought dressing up like a guy with a moustache AND dancing for EMD was one of the weirdest things I've done.... till I learnt to drive an auto. That's when I thought, nothing can get weirder than this.
Now... going bald for no reason happens to be the weirdest thing I've ever done.

I hope I break this record. :)